SPECIAL BULLETIN! FCC RENEGES ON RENEWING THE LICENSE OF AAAR FLAGSHIP STATION K1SOB!
ATHOL, MASS., August 9, 2005--The Federal Communications Commission, which renewed the license of AAAR President-for-Life Glenn Backstabber and AAAR flagship station K1SOB on July 22, 2005, has abruptly withdrawn the grant. The license renewal application, which was timely filed in mid-July, just within the required 90-day filing window, has reverted to a "Pending--Level 2" status. This is obviously a vendetta by FCC Special Counsel Riley Hollingsworthless, some stodgy, old AM'ers who deliberately jam the K1SOB information bulletins, a Boy Scout troop whose members think that transmitting on top of our K1SOB bulletins is funnier than peeing on a campfire, and some guy in Pittsburgh with a chip on his shoulder, to deny Glenn, the AAAR, and K1SOB the First Amendment rights granted in the U.S. Constitution. This makes the FCC an Indian giver (Native American giver?)...and we'll sue their a$$es off!
Glenn intends to fight this matter all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, if necessary. The same goes for the $21,000 "forfeiture" recently levied against K1SOB for alleged violations of FCC Rules. See our previous bulletin for details on this matter.
Meanwhile, K1SOB will not be silenced! Taking our cue from such venerable and courageous broadcasters as the late Rev. Dr. Carl McIntire, we are outfitting a sailing vessel with radio equipment to keep your AAAR bulletins on the air. If you open an AAAR credit card account, 25 cents of every dollar that you charge to your AAAR card will go toward outfitting the vessel.
To maintain immunity from persecution by both the FCC and the U.S. Coast Guard, our AAAR vessel will be registered in Bougainvillea, a country that the AAAR and its daughter organization, the HARN, helped to create. Since Bougainvillea has not yet been allocated a callsign prefix by the International Telecommunications Union, we will hold dual registry with the government of Brazil. The Brazilians have graciously assigned us the amateur radio callsign PR1CK, using a special callsign block reserved for maritime stations on the high seas.
We have christened our ship the S.S. Free Enterprise, in honor of all the traditional values upheld by Glenn and the AAAR. The ceremony took place in Boston Harbor, where we purchased the ship from a lobsterman who was put out of business by meddlesome government regulations. Since we didn't have any champagne on board, we found a jar of mayonnaise in the galley and christened the ship with that.
The AAAR bulletins will also soon be heard on satellite radio, where Glenn will join such luminaries as Howard Stern. For great deals on Canadian gray market satellite receivers, click here.